雅思求修改.It is popular belief that some children will become the famous musicium or the sports star,when they grow up.But in the meantime,others said if the children have excellent education in the children,anyone can be a genius.Speaking for

雅思求修改.
It is popular belief that some children will become the famous musicium or the sports star,when they grow up.But in the meantime,others said if the children have excellent education in the children,anyone can be a genius.Speaking for myself,I think talents cannot be replaced.
第三行打错childrenhood

It is 【加一个A】 popular belief that some children will become 【the去掉】 famous musician or 【the 去掉】sports star,when they grow up.【But in the meantime】用在这不是特别合适,该词组过分强调同时性.另外,BUT这种转折词请谨慎使用,因为BUT不够正式,应该改成HOWEVER,others said if 【the去掉】 【children改成people】 【加上could】have excellent education in 【the 改成their】childrenhood,anyone can be a genius.【Speaking for myself,】太花哨,说真的不适合,老老实实用【In my opinion】,【I think 去掉,因为与前面的in my opinion重复,你可以在两者当中选择一个留下】talents cannot be replaced.
1、检查自己作文的方法,把你觉得有问题的句子,复制粘贴到GOOGLE上,看看有没有跟你相同的句子,有的话就说明你的句子是纯正的；若没有,那就是你Chin-English了.
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以上只是改了语法,语义和逻辑方面还是得加强,第一句我看逻辑就有问题.
总体帮你改一遍,尽量保持你原文.
Many people think that it is nature for some children to become famous musican or sports star when they grow up,while the others believe that if people can have excellent education in their childhood,anyone can be a genius.In my opinion,both telent and education play important role in one's success.
楼上的答案没有For my own opinion,I believe 这种用法,首先For my own opinion不存在,再者opinion跟believe不能重复.我跟一个美国PHD学过一个学期,他也是个作家.
可以继续追问.

For a long time, it is generally believed that parents always wish their children become a musicium or sport star when they grow up. By the contrast, others claimed that children can not be a genius without good education.For my own opinion, I believe talent could be a kind of important nature nothing could be replaced.

个人认为，famous musician 和sports star前面不用加the，因为不是特指，还有这里是说some children， 所以musician和sports star应该用复数吧，其他问题没看出来。